onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
