oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
