Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
