Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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