Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
