Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize