thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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