I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
