you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
