just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Less talking, more tequila
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
