While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
