don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
