i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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