im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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