Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
