i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I could fuck to npr.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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