he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
