My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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