I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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