So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
