i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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