theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
