I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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