I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
