Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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