I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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