I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
