I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
