he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
