Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
