she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
