she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
