my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
