Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
