garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i think i just lost a toe
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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