O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
