Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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