So drunk its hurt
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
