ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
