i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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