Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
