Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
