when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
