Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
