You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
