Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kiss
Puke
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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