Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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