the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
