I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
