Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
